


Though I Try To Resist

by Tortellini



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Denial of Feelings, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Epic Friendship, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired By Tumblr, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Period-Typical Homophobia, Romantic Friendship, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Troye Sivan References, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 09:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13831251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: (Summary changed!) Eddie Kaspbrak knows he's different. It scares him. But when he finds out there are more people different like him, then it just might not be so bad after all.Oneshot/drabble





	Though I Try To Resist

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/360807) by hereforwheeler. 



Eddie Kaspbrak knows he's different. For a long time he thought he was different at least. After finding out his pills, given to him by his own mother of all people, are gazebos--sorry, placebos, he always mixes the two up--well it's just that now he's not so sure. 

He's scrawny, yeah. Sometimes his breathing is messed up. 

( _Bullshit, Eds!)_

But there's nothing seriously wrong with him.

No, he finds out very bluntly that he's different in a...well, a different way. And honestly? It scares him.

He doesn't even like to look at all boys. You have to believe him. He's not some sort of creep. But it's so hard to know what to think.

I mean, look at Stan Uris, one of his best friends in the whole entire world. Stan is skinny, with shrewd eyes and the curliest hair Eddie has ever seen in his life. He's level-headed and sassy when he wants to be. He's Jewish. And Eddie knows he's queer. He doesn't think any differently of him though. He'd be an ass to! 

But when he finds himself looking at Richie Tozier--it scares him. Because it's still wrong to him deep down. It's different when it's yourself. 

He doesn't know what to do. That's it. He just doesn't know what to do.

It's late. Eddie's supposed to be in bed long past now, but he can't sleep. He has way too much on his mind by now. He's texted his friends, but they're probably all asleep too by now. So he props his head up in his hand nervously, chewing on his lips, and heads over to Youtube. 

It's by accident that he finds Troye Sivan. 

> _I am tired of this place, I hope people change_   
>  _I need time to replace what I gave away_   
>  _And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small_   
>  _Though I try to resist I still want it all_

Eddie is amazed. His breath all but catches in his throat. He stares at the music video--and he sees two boys kissing. Boys his age. It might seem so normal to some people, normal like it's not a big deal, but to him it's everything. To him it's the world. He listens to the lyrics, and he hears himself. 

> _Only fools fall for you, only fools_  
>  _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_  
>  _Only fools fall for you, only fools_  
>  _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_

And then like the sap he is, he hears Richie in the song too. Because he had to be a fool to fall for him...

Just like that, in the middle of the night, with his mom sleeping just in the next room--Eddie clutches his phone and smiles, mouthing along to the words, with tears in his eyes...


End file.
